Everybody has their favorite brand of guitar, but the list of horrible and uncool guitars is worth putting together.  These would be the guitars you wouldn't play even if someone gave them to you for free.  I'll kick it off with one acoustic and one electric - an Ovation and a B.C. Rich.  Truly awful.   

Ah, nobody plays up there anyway!

DJ Johnson said:

The most confusing part is the way the neck curves and leaves the strings hanging out in space.

Is this a guitar or a G-Spot stimulator?  The most confusing part is the way the neck curves and leaves the strings hanging out in space.  Just bizarre.

Trash Freak said:

This Eastwood Bender distortocaster provided me with much merriment & mirth!

although the looks are a wee bit dodgy, I think the main issue with this is the fact that its efectively a guitar-shaped synthsizer, & you have to download stuff from the internet to know how to use it!  The self tuning, & USB wireless connection could make playin live easier... BUT, easier definately doesn't always mean better!

The Blue Giant Zeta Puppies said:

YEEeeeuch!!!....that is possibly the nastiest Gibson I have ever seen......I LOVE the early P90 "non reverse" Firebirds....but that is just hideous....(and totaly agree about B.C. Rich.....)

Dead Nachos said:

I up this topic, but seriously: BEHOLD the Gibson Firebird X!

Just search for the specs of this so-called guitar and you will be really mad! 

Also, any B.C. Rich is the uncoolest guitar in my opinion...

I don't think it's all that bad looking, but I wouldn't consider buying one. It has a knob right where I'd brush it with my strumming hand. My Jazzmaster has one like that, too. 

YEEeeeuch!!!....that is possibly the nastiest Gibson I have ever seen......I LOVE the early P90 "non reverse" Firebirds....but that is just hideous....(and totaly agree about B.C. Rich.....)

Dead Nachos said:

I up this topic, but seriously: BEHOLD the Gibson Firebird X!

Just search for the specs of this so-called guitar and you will be really mad! 

Also, any B.C. Rich is the uncoolest guitar in my opinion...

I up this topic, but seriously: BEHOLD the Gibson Firebird X!

Just search for the specs of this so-called guitar and you will be really mad! 

Also, any B.C. Rich is the uncoolest guitar in my opinion...

This makes me dizzy...

Trash Freak said:

This Eastwood Bender distortocaster provided me with much merriment & mirth!

Not uncool, but then those of us on here have a very twisted view of things.

Trash Freak said:

This Eastwood Bender distortocaster provided me with much merriment & mirth!

Actually it's quite cool now I really look at it!

Winston Texas said:

Totally awful, and I'll bet it pulls a big bow in the neck.

The Revox said:

If you want to see ugly stuff check all this woody 5 to 12 strings basses. It s like all the guys who own this stuff have lost their good taste in a accident :-)

Ouch!!!!......I see what you mean.....that is very, very nasty.....and not in a good way.....

The Revox said:

If you want to see ugly stuff check all this woody 5 to 12 strings basses. It s like all the guys who own this stuff have lost their good taste in a accident :-)

Now that's just silly.

This Eastwood Bender distortocaster provided me with much merriment & mirth!

......What about this baby?.....I can't decide.....it SHOULD be cool......and it's a FretKing...and they usually play and sound dead nice.......but somehow....it's just WRONG....what do you think?

You betcha, Doc.

Doc Sanchez said:

So actually they are better but cheaper guitars than "normal" western guitars. Hence cool. Damn, I was wrong.

Thanks for the info!

So actually they are better but cheaper guitars than "normal" western guitars. Hence cool. Damn, I was wrong.

Thanks for the info!

Oh, just the usual stuff that happens to wooden guitars, warpage and drying out. I guess. Probably not as fast, though. The necks and fingerboards are still wood.

Doc Sanchez said:

This sounds pretty convincing. What happens when you lean them against the radiator?

This sounds pretty convincing. What happens when you lean them against the radiator?

G. Wood said:

They have very good tone, and you don't have to worry as much about keeping them humidified (although common sense still applies, no leaning them against the radiator). They stay in tune better. No need for increasingly scarce premium tonewoods. A high quality guitar can be sold for less then a comparable wooden one. That's all I can think of right now. I've played a few, they were nice.

Doc Sanchez said:

 ...it seems to be a graphite guitar

What's the special thing about them?

They have very good tone, and you don't have to worry as much about keeping them humidified (although common sense still applies, no leaning them against the radiator). They stay in tune better. No need for increasingly scarce premium tonewoods. A high quality guitar can be sold for less then a comparable wooden one. That's all I can think of right now. I've played a few, they were nice.

Doc Sanchez said:

 ...it seems to be a graphite guitar

What's the special thing about them?

Actually I don't know, but it has this surface texture that makes it look like it isn't made of wood. It looks like it wants to be cool ("oooh, black") but in fact is totally square. But still, no bad words against John Darnielle!

[Two minutes later] I've checked, and it seems to be a graphite guitar: http://www.rainsong.com/models/ws1000.asp

What's the special thing about them?

is that one of those graphite guitars? 

This thread made my day! I laughed so hard!

Now, while John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats is my favourite singer/songwriter who is cool as fuck, who is more punk than most of those "punk" bands nowadays (all his early records were first take boombox tapes), his favourite acoustic guitar is totally uncool in my opinion...

I like acoustic guitars when they look like acoustic guitars.