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  • Topic: Worst Movies Ever

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    • May 27, 2011 7:05 PM CDT
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      The most painful movie I ever sat through was 2001 Space Odyssey.
    • May 23, 2011 1:38 AM CDT
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      for me its an english film called "doomsday" it came out the same time as "2012" and for some reason when you googled it it got the two confused so i ended up down loading a film which was a cross between mad max & the merry wives of windsor..(i kid you not)....all with westcountry accents ......fucking dire....
    • May 17, 2011 4:03 PM CDT
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      Con Air

       

      Lords of Dogtown

    • May 3, 2011 7:31 PM CDT
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      there's shitloads right, I didn't mind The matrix but walked out of the 2nd why fight all those Smiths and then super fuck off at the end with that crouch n fly trick? Silly rooms full of TV's, all garbage... loads like that.

      I saw a doco film called The Bridge once, some guy had hung around waiting to film poor fuckers ending it all by jumping off The Golden Gate then went and hassled their grieving families, I'm no moralist but it had nothing to say and was just fucked up.

       

      One Plus One / Sympathy For The Devil - the Stones are at their coolcoolcoolest and poor old Brian... but the claptrap by Goddard is unbelievably pretentious and worst of all BORING

    • April 30, 2011 7:01 AM CDT
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      -Monstroid
    • April 20, 2011 7:29 PM CDT
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      Worst for me is Raw Meat

       I was utterly fooled by the awesome sounding title. To finish this film was like pulling teeth- except my teeth were braincells and the dentist was a nimwit director. 

      .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slxl7hxiHc0

    • April 20, 2011 7:22 PM CDT
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      Ahahah! I am a fan of Lynch films- but YES! I totally could not finish Mulholland drive, that moved bored me to tears and the lead actress made my face hurt.

      Oswald The Lucky Rabbit said:
      I can't think of any David Lynch flicks that didn't make me physically sick... Haven't seen much though. But the worst gotta be Mulholland drive. Oh, and E.T. is pretty bad as well.
    • March 29, 2011 9:02 PM CDT
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      Second that

      sleazy said:
      I fell to sleep watching 8 Mile (Eminem)...and any movie with J-LO...hate her guts :):)
    • February 3, 2011 7:16 AM CST
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      I fell to sleep watching 8 Mile (Eminem)...and any movie with J-LO...hate her guts :):)
      ____________________________________

    • February 2, 2011 8:44 PM CST
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      The following are films that, in my humble and infallible (ha!) opinion are so bad that they will make the devout question divine existence and make a heathen cry tears of blood. At least that is the effect that they had on me.

       

      EYES WIDE SHUT---Keep in mind I normally love Kubrick but my god....MEIN GOTT...drecky, stupid, boring. B-O-R-I-N-G. Seeing Nicole Kidman act "Drunk" seriously made me feel violent. 15 years olds getting their first Boone's buzz do not act that badly. Gah.

       

      DEBBIE DOES DALLAS---Okay there were adult films from this era that were actually good films. Quality movies that happened to have explicit action. DDD was not one of them. Bad music, actresses that look bored, shamefaced and with our lead heroine, bullgoose looney and some dudes whose junk look like they needed a fresh bar of Lava soap...it's all bad.There are rings of Hell where the only porn available is this crap. It suckkkkksssss.

       

      THE AMITYVILLE HORROR remake---I had to review this puppy and the one positive thing I can say is that it gave me a newfound appreciation for the original. Which I was never a big fan of anyways, but it looks marvelous in comparison.

       

      BEVERLY HILLS VAMP---I love me some B movies. In fact a good chunk of my writing career revolves around reviewing cult films. So my tolerance is higher than the average bear. But despite having a cute beginning and some pretty spiffy intro and end credits, this film beyond sucks. It's embarrassing and seeing the late, great Robert Quarry having to be in it is just sad. Granted some work is better than no work and he's predictably awesome in it, but the man deserved WAY better than this. Though I will give some minor kudos for having Michelle Bauer and Eddie Deezen in it. And again, they deserved better too.

    • January 31, 2011 11:05 PM CST
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      I was pretty disappointed by Atom Age Vampire, I had high hopes because of Balzac...

      I dig those cheap collections of old public domain horror flicks, but there's also a good percentage of unwatchable crap on them

    • January 26, 2011 12:10 PM CST
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      Charlie's Angels II: Full Throttle!
    • January 22, 2011 11:23 PM CST
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      I actually like a lot of the trashy films that were mentioned here, but I agree with the hollywood booshit.

       

      I don't know why but I've attempted to watch Pirates Of The Caribbean 8 times and I always fall asleep, too much man meat running around in eyeliner for me to stay interested I guess.

       

      Johnny Depp is a great actor (Dead-Man, Edward Scissorhands, Fear Loathing) but he has played too many roles wasting his talent, that goes for Burton too.

    • January 17, 2011 6:45 PM CST
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      House of the Dead remains one of a bare handful of movies that I've walked out of the theatre during.

      There's one called Birdemic that I saw at a small art theatre that was almost unbearable; only the presence of my best friend(who'd dragged me to it) and a lot of beer made it watchable.
    • January 13, 2011 4:47 PM CST
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      Nah, you're completely right. I used to like Fight Club and American Beauty, but not really anymore...I kind of lump them into the same category as Donnie Darko or some shit like that. I mean, they don't have that much in common, but they're both mediocre-bad movies that attract the same hype and crowd. As for Juno, never liked that horrible movie. Not sure if this has been said, but I always hated Garden State. Such a boring movie.

       


      Morgan McDannell said:

      I know I'll get flamed to hell for this but....Fightclub. I'm sorry but I really just don't get what all the big hoopla is about this film. To me it was a 20 minute short film stretched out to two hours. The part where the guy beats himself up in his boss's office is an absolute joke. Another super popular film that I don't care for is American Beauty. If a guy can't stand his boring middle class existence then why wait until you're in your 40s and then start rebelling from it all by jogging and listening to the Who? That's really a sick and pathetic attempt. If you're gonna have a second childhood you're gonna have to try a little harder. Oh, and come to think of it Juno didn't do anything for me either. Square upper middle class people should stop trying to be as hip and cool as slumming hipsters. Sorry, it doesn't work. Another movie about an aging guy who wants to relive or improve upon his childhood. He had some good taste at least with The Wizard Of Gore but I don't think a guy who likes Herschell would be in that situation in the first place. Maybe I'm wrong. Also, Juno is the biggest attempt at trying to be cool by name dropping I've ever seen in my life. And what 16 year old knows who Mario Bava is? Come on.
    • January 13, 2011 2:31 PM CST
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      Titanic, it´s so bad and awful. Hate it.
    • December 7, 2010 5:20 PM CST
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      Boxing Helena was awful (& no it's not about the sport of boxing btw, lol!) Cujo- 2 hours of a mother & her kid trapped inside a Ford Pinto with a Rabid dog outside.I'd rather watch paint dry! Titanic- Thank God, I thought I was the only one who hated it! The only good part was when the boat capsized & the dude fell into the propeller!
    • December 7, 2010 3:09 PM CST
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      Exit to Eden!
    • November 16, 2010 4:30 AM CST
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      hell's angels on wheels with jack nicholson, soooooo boring i almost had a heart attack.
      (i actually liked Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man though)
    • October 31, 2010 11:17 AM CDT
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      Motel Hell, you may remember seeing this one at your local childhood video store. Pig-faced man wearing bib overalls, wielding a chainsaw? yeah, that one. Well in a master stroke of pure genius this classic tale is kept alive for future generations via the comic book medium.
    • October 21, 2010 5:23 PM CDT
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      I was forced to sit through *Observe and Report* last summer and I desperately want those 90 minutes of life back. Complete crap.
    • October 13, 2010 1:11 PM CDT
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      I always get skewered when I mention this because it’s one of the greatest movies of all time, but my friend and I walked out of Lost In Translation. I never walk out of movies. We paid good money and we were both pretty broke, too. Everyone we talked to either got angry or just smirked and said we “just didn’t get it.” Oh, I got it alright, I didn’t want it, but I got it! Two rich people fly half way around the world, live in luxury hotels, consume expensive booze and food, go to all these cool, exotic and spiritual places and they still just can’t be happy. Hitler did that to the people he put in concentration camps, didn’t he? Awwwww, poor little babies, they can’t be happy. Maybe they should try growing a soul just for kicks? That Scarlett Johannesburg has all the personality and acting ability of a houseplant, too. What a yawn festival. Next!
    • September 26, 2010 1:43 PM CDT
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      I remember this movie. Very bad production. gumbo chaff said:
      The worst movie I ever saw was called the amazing mr no legs !! and it was a rubbish kung fu film ,with no plot just some guy with no legs swinging around karate chopping and kicking? various unlikely gangster types in unbelievable situations ,I remember one scene where he stumps the shit out of half a dozen baddies in a swimming pool !! ridiculous.........actually It was so crap it was brilliant !!lol
    • September 26, 2010 1:41 PM CDT
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      The worst movie I ever saw was called the amazing mr no legs !! and it was a rubbish kung fu film ,with no plot just some guy with no legs swinging around karate chopping and kicking? various unlikely gangster types in unbelievable situations ,I remember one scene where he stumps the shit out of half a dozen baddies in a swimming pool !! ridiculous.........actually It was so crap it was brilliant !!lol

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