New here :) This is actually the first thing I post... But I thought I'd share this since I think it's exactly what you're looking for. There's a Drum plugin called BFD (well, now it's actually BFD2 but I have the old version)
They've recorded all sort of drum kits (modern and vintage) and organized them in a nice plugin you can access trhough midi. And for each volume number they've made different recordings, so if you hit soft or strong you'll hear the difference.
I've been using if for all my home recordings and I'm very happy with how it sounds. I'm using it with Logic Audio, but it should work with most Audio editing programs...
-George